Our Family of 4

I haven't updated in quiet some time! On March 24, 2010 we became parents again to a wonderful, healthy baby boy! After the debate of a lifetime we decided that Salem was the perfect name for our bundle of joy!

Jump 4 months later!

We have a beautiful, full of smiles and giggles baby!

** Yes, I am fully aware that he is identical to Sam!**

We can't forget the older brother, Hani! He went through his phases: denial, anger, acceptance ... and I am happy to report that he now loves his baby brother!! Hugs and Kisses everyday, and just yesterday I found him sitting down facing the baby talking to him! It warms my heart to see the two of them together and the beginning of a wonderful bond!

During these months are little Hani turned 2! I can't believe my preemie is 2! Is such a joy to our lives. He loves to "bounce" (dance), his favorite is ELMO, and riding around on dada's back is a must every night! He hates to eat, but tolerates tyson dino chicken nuggets (Yes, they must be this exact kind) and loves McDonald's french fries. But his all time favorite food is "apple" or as you may know it as pineapple. When he is good he deserves a trip to is favorite place, Starbucks, where he proudly announces he wants an "APPLE JUICE", and then proceeds to wait for his drink and sit in a chair and drink it until its all gone! WARNING: Do not interupt this process because you will create one very upset Mr. Hani! He has way too many toys, that he doesn't play with and instead loves anything with buttons and remotes! He can count to 15 and knows half of his ABC's ... my smart little man!

Digging into his elmo cake!
He refused to touch it because it would make his hands dirty, therfore he used folks.
And it's not on the list of things to eat ... so he only destroyed it!

LOVE MY BOYZ!

COUNT DOWN!!

Finally it's count down time! We will have a little baby boy by March 24th! I really would like a natural delivery, rather than a c-secton, but thats up to nature. If i go into labor prior to the 24th then we will proceed, but if my body decides to wait it out a little longer I have a c-section scheduled on March 24th! Either way I will be happy that my little boy beat all odds and is FULL TERM! And just hoping for everyone to be happy and healthy!

Number WhAt!?

I don't know why I feel the need to write about this now, but it's something that is on my mind constantly. "Oh, you're pregnant!? Is this your first!?" I get asked this question a million times a day, especially since I see so many patients in a day ... and also by complete strangers when I am around town. I love that I look pregnant! OH, how I have wanted to look pregnant for so many years. It's a part of pregnancy that you don't realize is so important until it's missing. But, I wasn't expecting this wierd feeling everytime I am asked. Well, this obviously isn't my first, which makes that such an easy question. But then it's always followed with, "Oh, what number? ... or ... How many other children do you have?" Thats the bombshell. It's easy to say I have an 18 month old, and leave the question there. Then I have this sense of hiding a child. I do have an 18 month old, and I also have a child that is in a much better place. Do I tell them this is number 3, or number 2!? My small baby who is no longer in my arms is a very large part of our family. We cherish him, love him, and know that he is a part of us. Sam and I feel as if we have 3 children, just one isn't here with us. I feel like I need a scarlet letter to wear everyday, that way when I am in the store, Hani in the cart, and my belly obviously larger than normal ... everyone can see that I also have an additional child that is some where special. I don't want to forget about him ... I will never forget. The small moment he was in my arms will last a life time. So, for now I am having my third baby, my third son ... I have three children; two I take care of and one who takes care of me ... all three that I love very much! When I was in Syria a few years ago, we thought it would be funny to have someone "read" my turkish coffee. (Long story of what that this, but to make it simple it's like a fortune teller.) She told me I would be blessed with 3 sons! Guess I shouldn't be surprised when I found out we are having another boy ... she was right ... 3 sons!!

My little baby, oh, how he looked just like me. He looked so different from Hani, who looks just like his dada. Which also makes me nervous about the little brother that I will be welcoming into the world in just a few short weeks. If he looks like me, will I always wonder that is how my baby would have grown to look like. I will never know his facial expressions and laugh, but if this baby looks like me ... then maybe everyday I'll be reminded of what I won't ever know.

Maybe I feel the need to write this or to address these emotions, because I have been forced to change my delivery hospital. I wanted to deliver at St. Joe's ... I have the best private medical insurance just for this reason. But changes in St. Joe's billing has left me with no other choice. Banner Good Sam Medical Center is the only other hospital where I can deliver. Banner is the only other facility that my physicans would be comfortable with my delivery. Even though everything is going normal, "they just don't know about me!" as they say. Banner is a good facility with level III Nicu and high risk OB wing. But Banner Good Sam is also the hospital that we were forced to deliver our first child. Can I bare to walk those halls again, or see that room? I don't know if I can handle this type of emotion ... on top of delivery. When we went to pre-register tears came to our eyes, just the thought of when we registered last time. When the door opened and we saw the delivery rooms, tears came streaming down my face ... take a left, two doors on the left ... I was there. I will have to keep positive, and know that it's a good thing to welcoming another son into our family, and we are lucky to be here and remember one good moment of seeing our first born.

GROWNING
As I walked past the doctor's private office on my way to the ultrasound room, he slightly glanced up to wave, knowing that we will have our sit down chat after the measurements were taken. I make my into the small dark room, the warm jelly was barely on my tummy when the room turns bright ... why are the lights coming on already? I think to myself. I would normally think this is a bad thing, but how would they know, they haven't even started the ultrasound yet. Stuck laying flat on my back and covered in yucky stuff, I am surprised to see my doctor run over to the table and yell out "Did you see this lady's belly when she walked in!? WOW!" And then reaches to shake my hand. I am speechless. I finally muster up to shake his hand, and greet him with a hello. "You look pregnant!?" He is starting to sound very surprised. My response, I am finally wearing my maternity clothes, and not just because I have all these cute outfits, but because I HAVE TO! Then he turns to Sam and Hani, and makes a very clear statement, "This is a completely different pregnancy." We all take a moment, almost like a moment of silence. "You are 30 weeks, and with out a doubt in my mind you will easily make it to at least 36 ..." My mind quickly realizes, he is telling me I am going to have a full term, expected to be healthy baby boy! Can this be happening!?
When we were first pregnant with Hani, the two perinatologist said, "lightening doesn't strike twice" meaning I am sure everything will be fine, but lets follow closely just in case. Apparently lightening does strike twice, as we learned with the complications of our pregnancy with Hani. When we sat down already 8 weeks pregnant this time around, there was no talk of lightening, but rather an expectation that this pregnancy could very badly, and lets hope that we have a simular result to Hani's birth. Never once did we even think I could make it to 30 weeks without strick bedrest, and diffenately no discussion of a full term baby. Some how I am laying down on this table at 30 weeks, the three (four if you can't hani, and five if you count the baby) are joined in a small circle, completely astonished that I am carrying a 4 pound baby boy, measuring 32 weeks (two weeks BIGGER) and in the 75% tile.
He still wants to see me in four weeks for another measurement growth, just to make sure everything is looking fine, but I will be 34 weeks at that time ... almost full term. He also said that of course I am having sever back pain, I have a four pound baby pushing against my spine ... this is normal, and enjoy it. So, that I am. I am enjoying the back pain, the big tummy, the yucky heart burn, the glances by strangers, and the question they always ask, "When are you due?" March 23, I exclaim proudly! I am finally pregnant, finally looking and feeling pregnant!

"This is the best Christmas gift I could ever give you."

I have never had such a great appointment ... I have never left a doctors office with such confidence ... I have never felt such a relief. I am excited! I am pregnant with a baby boy who is growing normally! Actually is a little larger than normal. He is in the the 63 percentile, and currently weighing in at over 2 lbs. Thats right, he currently weighs more than what Hani weighed when he was born! As a reminder Hani was born at 30 weeks, and was a mere 2lbs. The doctor said this is turning out to be a normal pregnancy. My chances of premature labor are 10% ... a lot better than the 98% they originally predicted. There are still chances of IUGR, but currently there are no signs or symptoms. Even once IUGR is detected they still typically wait a few weeks until delivery. So, even if we have an IUGR baby the premature level will be very slim, and the baby will be considered a large IUGR based on his current growth pattern! Basically, I "could" still deliver early, but it won't be at 30 weeks ... BJ, one of our doctors, said "this is the best christmas gift I could ever give you and I am just the one that gets to tell you. I think this is from someone greater. Enjoy your holiday season, relax and enjoy the next few months."

BABY SHOWER SCHEDULED FOR FEBRUARY!!

Hani finally got a chance to meet brother. Well, sort of! We brought him to the appointment yesterday. He held mommy's hand during the entire ultrasound ... it was so precious! When the doctor saw him he said, "thats the little preemie we saved!?" Little shy Hani politely wives and says, "hi" ... it was a priceless moment. The doctor couldn't believe how well Hani was doing and acting like a normal 18 month old! He also said no wonder you insisted on only seeing us for your pregnancy, he is a miracle!!

GROWING ... growing ... GROWING ... growing

HE IS GROWING!! Mr. Safadi #2 is weighing it at 1lb 2oz ... that is half of Hani's weight when I gave birth!!! My original doctor, BJ, even made a point to stop by the exam room yesterday. That is a big deal when the "Big Guy" makes time for you ... it's either really good or really bad. First time we met BJ it was really bad, but this time it was really GOOD! He told us to stop stressing, he told me to enjoy this pregnancy, he told me that everything is looking GREAT! Although when I asked if I should have my baby shower in the winter or spring, I didn't get a reply. Then I took the scale ... the moment of truth. For so many years I have wanted that number to keep falling and falling, but now I step on that platform with hopes of a rise. I am officially back to pre-pregnancy weight. Sounds weird saying, since I haven't delivered, but it was a huge goal. To gain back all the weight I lost in the first 18 weeks. Still not fitting into maternity clothes, and I am very comfortable in my jeans ... but I am seeing hope that I will have a belly!!

We thank you for all the continued support and prayers.

Too much knowledge ... a BAD thing?

Sometimes, I feel as if I know too much. Sometimes too much information is trouble. Like, when my pregnancy doctors said they would follow me on a month basis for the time being. But I look at my calander and notice it's been pretty close to bi-weekly. Then today they said why don't we move you to bi-weekly. Does that mean that it will actually be weekly? My team rotates who sees me. So it was one doctor every other week ... thats how it became bi-weekly ... but now do they mean one doctor every other week? Then seeing how I am dealing with doctors and patients on a regular basis everyday, I also know that this could be a bad thing. Do they think something is wrong? Do they think something is going to be wrong? Or they telling the truth when they say it's just for caution? I guess I just follow their direction and trust in their abilities as physicians.

Prayer. I believe in prayer. I pray for my family and unborn child on a daily basis. I pray that it is GOD's Will ... not what I want, or think should happen ... but for the will of God to happen. I am asking for prayers ... the next 4 -6 weeks are very important in my pregnancy. If something is wrong, they will probably find it then ... I ask that you pray that God's will be done toward my family and unborn child. We all 4 thank you ...